Wow, what a ride

Last November marked the end of a wild, fun, poignant, indescribable, unmatchable ride for me. But with many more adjectives. In the wee hours of the 16th (also my birthday – thank you, Summit) I sat in a dark theater and watched the final cinematic moments of the Twilight Saga. Tomorrow that movie comes out on DVD and then I guess it’s official.
SUITCASE::SOB::
Going back to the beginning of this journey will echo others I’ve heard since that time, but it’s my story and my blog so bear with me. My friend gave me that book with the hands holding the apple for Christmas of 2008. She was a little apologetic but she knows my taste so I got around to reading it about a month later. Then the next one (during which I cried while reading because it hit too many nerves), and the next one (which I threw across the room because really, how could she kiss that woof?) and the last one (which I actually liked for the clever plot resolution).
All were read in less than two weeks time and then I lucked out catching the blue-tinted, low budget flick at a bargain theater before it went to DVD. The movie was underwhelming at first, but the lead actor — um — had potential.
Then I found the websites. Many people who were oddly obsessed with the books and movies spilled their passion into cyber space and I read them all. Eventually I found “my people” at Twitarded — a bunch of crazy, smart, funny women of all ages who accepted their inexplicable interest in the series, while tossing around profanity like so much confetti. I loved them and that led me to interact with them. And tweet and email and talk with them. (And maybe stalk a few of the more clever ones.)
While following blogs, I kept hearing about the phenomenon called Fan Fiction. I refused to sully the books by reading take-offs and re-imaginings of Stephenie’s world but I finally caved when someone posted an excerpt of Wide Awake. Holy shit, these people could write!*
Long story short (funny, I know), I came up with an idea and eventually wrote a novel-length fan fiction with my own little twist. The process was eye-opening and educational and a total blast. The Family Business led to even more friendships with people from around the world that I’ll cherish forever.
Those friendships led to the logical decision to travel to Forks, Washington (Cullen territory) in September of 2011 so I could meet many of the Twitarded Tribe in person. That was a weekend that should have been blogged about (and maybe will be if I can remember all the details).
Fast forward to now. (“For the love of Edward, Suz, please do move on”). I went to see “Breaking Dawn Part 2” at that same bargain theater a couple of weeks ago, which was probably my last large-screen-time with the Cullens.
::SOB::

Excuse me but I want to be alone now with my books. And DVDs. And magazines. And full-size Edward pillow...

Excuse me but I want to be alone now with my books. And DVDs. And magazines. And full-size Edward pillow. And, and… ::SOB::

What a crazy, unexpected, wonderful journey it’s been. I’ve referred to Twilight (and my imaginary love affair with the lead actor) as my mid-life crisis, but as it winds down I find very little to be embarrassed about, much less regret.
Thank you, Stephenie, Robert, Roseanne, Twitardia and all the rest of my lovely enablers. I wouldn’t change a thing.

*Fan fiction became common knowledge in the past six months or so, thanks to a certain series of color-coded books. My thoughts are ironically not black and white so I’ll be posting them in the near future.
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The Big Five-OH-MY-GOD!

If age is just a number, then my upcoming birthday is definitely doing a number on me. Yep. This November I turn half a century.

B-b-but I was just 40 last week...or so.

Swigs wine before continuing.

I don’t want to say that I’m taking it hard, but there may have been more than a few tears several months back when those bastards at AARP sent me a friendly – albeit early – reminder to join my fellow senior citizens in denial.

Honestly, the previous milestone birthdays didn’t bother me a whole lot, with the possible exception of 25. Pffffft! I was in love and lust at 30, and ten years later I was preparing to adopt a baby so I hardly felt ancient with such a wondrous journey ahead of me.

Snorts at the irony.

The 40s have surpassed most of my expectations. Not only did I become a mother, but I moved back to Colorado where my heart has always resided, opened a dream business, made a million friends and went on to enjoy another dream job when the art gallery had to close. Every day I do work that usually feeds both my bank account and my soul – not everyone can say that.

Then a couple of years ago I fell headlong into my mid-life crisis. No Botox or Porsches for me. Instead I fell in love with a much-loved/maligned teen book series. Since reading the first breathless word, that guilty pleasure gradually evolved into a wide, crazy circle of friends around the world and adventures I never would have imagined. The books and the friends also helped to renew my passion in fiction writing and I eventually wrote my own book.

Granted, I can’t publish it, but I. WROTE. A. BOOK.

I may have a few battle scars and a LOT of gray hairs to show for my 40s, but I wouldn’t change much. And speaking of gray, my formerly blonde hair has begun to turn dark with a rapidly developing silver-ish streak of hair on one side. Think an older version of Rogue from the X-Men. Yes, I plan to fully exploit this comparison with middle-aged geeks as long as they’re rich and no longer live in their parents’ basement.

It's a little scary how much we look alike. Form a straight line, boys.

So a few weeks ago, one of my twitter friends wrote a blog post about the new trend in bucket lists: 30 before 30, 40 before 40, etc. Sue’s turning 50 in four years and wanted to start working her list of things to accomplish now.

It got me thinking.

Most days, I don’t feel old but this birthday has definitely freaked me out a little. So I had some more wine and wondered what if I just embraced it? After all, the 40s kicked ass so who knows what could happen in the next decade?! To help motivate the enthusiasm, I decided my own list was in order. As of today, I only have four months instead of four years, so a trip to Italy or marrying my much younger Imaginary Boyfriend are probably off the table this time around. Nevertheless, I managed to come up with 50 attainable (I think) goals.

I’m not going to list them all here because some are too personal and most would bore the hell out of anyone but me. And hopefully, with each item I cross off before November 16, that intimidating number becomes just a number, baby – not a definition of me: middle-aged, hopelessly romantic, brave, silly, sometimes weary, often hopeful, always growing woman.

I’d love to hear your goals and dreams as the years tick by and I appreciate the encouragement as I tackle this list.

Oh, and if you’d like to call me Rogue from now on, I’m cool with that.

1. Write a blog post about turning 50 – CHECK!
8. Go to Forks, WA – It’s the land of sparkly vampires and Twitardia. Why wouldn’t I go?

Some of the crazies I plan to meet in September. #42 - CHECK!


17. Go on a date – It’s been a while. I need to exercise the muscle that makes it possible for me to function in public.
18. Start journaling again – I did this for decades and just stopped for some reason.
24. Finish first draft of Leadville novel – This book is tired of being in my head and needs to find its way to paper.
28. Find an eager teenager to babysit at my beck and call – This could help with general sanity and item #17 specifically.
29. Set up my bills to pay online
32. Submit one short story, somewhere, for pay or contest
36. Wax my lip – Again, see #17.
38. Host a party at my house – I wasn’t Martha Stewart, but I used to love to entertain.
41. Take a digital sabbatical for at least 24 continuous hours – I took this from Sue’s list. I’ll probably end up in rehab with Lindsey Lohan before the day is up.
42. Meet at least 5 more twitter friends in person – This will occur with item #8.
43. Write a letter to my parents, thanking them for raising me and being there for me – Also borrowed from Sue’s thoughtful list.
46. Make a cake or cookies for my daughter for no reason at all – It could tarnish my reputation as Worst Mother of the Year, but hey…
50. Say farewell to the 40s with wine, women friends and Edward! – Breaking Dawn, pt. 1 in theaters Nov. 18. Don’t judge – it’s not pretty;)

Cheers to half a century, well-lived.

Opening the doors on The Family Business

If you’re visiting my blogsite via open invitation, then you probably already know I’m a Twitard, and usually proud of it. After giving up on understanding — much less explaining — my obsession with an imaginary universe created by Stephenie Meyer, a couple of mediocre movies and a British actor young enough to be my… well, let’s just say he’s young, I gave in and drank the Kool-Aid.

I was in good company.

I’ve found a community of 834,016 other women in my general age range (I counted, but they all lied about their age) who are just as crazy. And we don’t care. We’re having too much fun to worry about what everyone else thinks is surely temporary insanity in need of a good 12-step program. We’re enjoying the ride and have no intention to stop for non-believers.

One of the unexpected side effects of the Twilight addiction is fan fiction. In case you weren’t aware, there are countless writers out there re-imagining, supplementing or completely warping Ms. Meyer’s magical world. I reluctantly gave in and read one after seeing it mentioned on a daily basis. Wide Awake by Angstgoddess003 is commonly and affectionately referred to in the Twi-community as the gateway drug to all fanfic.

From there, I read a few (read: too many to count) others and was soon in awe of the level of talent out there.* They’re writing stories good enough to publish, for fun and for FREE. Why would they do that?! Being a serious writer *cough*in my head*cough* I knew I would never go there. I love the characters Edward and Bella and couldn’t imagine bending them to my literary will. I had scruples and a mortgage.

You can see where this is going… I got an idea that seemed pretty different than any other story lines I’d read. I wrote a scene or two. Then a chapter appeared. Flash forward a few weeks and I have almost seven chapters written, a full outline of approximately 20 total chapters, a fan fiction account and three amazing people who read, edit, proof, nit-pick and crack-wise on each page I write.

I call it The Family Business and I am having the time of my life. Oh, and so I can rationalize the time spent on a story that will never cross a publisher’s desk, I admit that I’m learning so much about the writing process. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I am creating it. (It’s actually writing itself, but I’ll save that for another post, another day.)

If you’d like to see what Edward and Bella are up to in my world, go to

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2155721/SuzsPetals

I’ll be using this blog for teasers, artwork and song lists for the story, but I’ll also be writing whatever happens to interest me and perhaps post a few non-Twi stories I’ve written. *I may list a fanfic recommendation sometimes, but I’m warning you – I’m picky.

Summary: Edward Cullen meets the girl of his dreams but keeps her at arm’s length due to his complicated, dangerous family life. When cruel irony brings them together again, he’s forced to make a devastating choice: Save her from a fate worse than death or save her from the family business. Definitely AU (Alternate Universe) It’s not for the kiddies.